Good news from the doctor! Completely unaware, I have lost fifteen pounds in the last six months, despite going up like, two bra sizes. HOORAY! And I did it all without going on some emotionally damaging diet or crazy exercise regimen. I know I need to get even more conscientious about what I eat--less refined carbohydrates, more vegetables--but I think we're all in that camp, hmm? And exercise is way important; I just want to find something I actually like to do, so I'll stick with it for the long haul. I have been doing yoga, which is good but not aerobic (in its purer forms, which are the ones I like). So I still have stuff to work on, but it appears the medications and the minor adjustments have really helped! Maybe I'll lick this thing after all.
On the other hand, I still have lots of pain during S-E-X, so I'm scheduled for an ultrasound on Friday to rule out this. Luckily the medication I'm on also can treat that. It appears C. and I are sisters of the moon, or something equally cheesy. :)
GYN couldn't help me with the anxiety problems, though, feeling she wasn't well acquainted enough with the drugs, etc. Looks like I will have to see my general practitioner about that--I will wait until after the ultrasound results come back.
On a random note, today I saw a pickup truck with airbrushed Rastafarian pictures and a Star of David. What the hell?! Some goofy frat boy, perhaps?
Monday, January 30
Thursday, January 26
Been a busy little bee lately. My part-time job has turned into 24 hours a week, and we started rehearsals for the outreach opera again last night--though I'll only have two more before a performance on Feb. 9. I'm working on the green sweater again, though I decided against the hoodie in favor of a cute off-the-shoulder number (that's like my favorite website, too, by the way). I'm almost done, I think.
I'm also trying to learn a shitload of new music--Pagliacci rehearsals start in a month, and though I have a feeling I won't be called upon to cover, I will certainly be ready. Ooh, marital infidelity and spousal abuse! The opera does run a bit like a Lifetime movie. Or Maury. Anyway, I'm also starting to work on this other role, which I'm not allowed to talk about because, well, I've been precast. Let's just say it's the title character in an immensely famous opera, and it's actually my voice type, unlike all the other stuff I end up singing. I've known about it since November, actually, but I'm still excited--and humbled. All the greats have sung this, famously, and there will be comparisons made. And it's very challenging dramatically. So I've been working on the famous aria (which, despite its fame, only has a few touchy spots) and will bring that to my lesson tomorrow (which is also a little scary). Provided that goes well, I'll be singing the aria two weeks from now for a dinner held by another opera company who's also doing this opera next year. Play my cards right and they might let me cover. And they pay. So I guess things are going well.
Also--doctor's appointment next Monday. Paxil? Welbutrin? Anyone care to place bets? :)
I'm also trying to learn a shitload of new music--Pagliacci rehearsals start in a month, and though I have a feeling I won't be called upon to cover, I will certainly be ready. Ooh, marital infidelity and spousal abuse! The opera does run a bit like a Lifetime movie. Or Maury. Anyway, I'm also starting to work on this other role, which I'm not allowed to talk about because, well, I've been precast. Let's just say it's the title character in an immensely famous opera, and it's actually my voice type, unlike all the other stuff I end up singing. I've known about it since November, actually, but I'm still excited--and humbled. All the greats have sung this, famously, and there will be comparisons made. And it's very challenging dramatically. So I've been working on the famous aria (which, despite its fame, only has a few touchy spots) and will bring that to my lesson tomorrow (which is also a little scary). Provided that goes well, I'll be singing the aria two weeks from now for a dinner held by another opera company who's also doing this opera next year. Play my cards right and they might let me cover. And they pay. So I guess things are going well.
Also--doctor's appointment next Monday. Paxil? Welbutrin? Anyone care to place bets? :)
Tuesday, January 17
It was kind of cavalier of me to drop that bomb in my previous two posts, then not blog for weeks... There were the holidays (fine), then a quick show (very small role, but I got to perform with the state symphony, which was definitely worth it), then a competition last Saturday--plus I've been working more hours lately.
As for the competition: this is a famous national competition that I'd never done before. In fact, one of the reasons I didn't audition to go back to Florida is that I felt it important to sing in this. Somehow I got my hopes up that I would win something, despite the fact that they rarely choose anyone over 25. (They're morons, by the way--most of the people they choose can't cut it at that level because they're too damn young.) At least I was hoping for some useful feedback from the judges; not much of that either. In fact, one of the judges told me I had the beginnings of a wobble because of lousy breathing and that I needed to take care of it immediately if I had any desire to continue singing. Um, no, I don't have a wobble, asshole, and any vibrato problems I have (just below the passaggio, I know) are resonance issues, not breathing issues. He made me really mad. The other judges were more positive, but their criticism was stuff I'd already heard before: do more dramatically (I really need dramatic coachings--good luck in this state!), watch below the passaggio... So it seems kind of like a big-ass waste of time. I was, however, able to make at least two connections with opera companies in the state who seem eager to meet with me. And honestly, that's a lot more important in the long run than winning some competition. I think.
Anyway, as far as the previous posts: things are a bit better, but... I don't know, I just haven't felt like myself for months. Tired all the time (even when I can sleep), very moody, bored as hell at work--not to mention barely able to make it through the day blood sugar-wise (at least that's what I think it is), insane back and shoulder tension. I keep dwelling on uncomfortable things (see last post). My stomach goes nuts every time I have to sing--I can't even look at food, and have to dose myself with Imodium and Gas-X two days in advance. I'm even starting to get headaches, which I've never had a problem with before. Who knows what the hell is wrong with me now... I have a doctor's appointment in two weeks, thankfully, so I need to remember to write down everything. I don't know if it's just because of the medication (I think not), or if I need to be on anti-anxiety medication... I do research on the computer, but there's so much conflicting information out there, plus I know not to trust much of it.
And believe me, I know I don't have much to complain about. It just shouldn't be so hard for me to get through the day, you know?
In happier news, I have finally finished a sweater I've been working on for Mark--only after redoing one of the arms three times because it kept coming out eight inches too long. Turns out I was making that one correctly, and the sleeve that fit had a mistake in it. He doesn't have crazy short arms or anything--just weird. Also, I got a really good haircut the other day.
As for the competition: this is a famous national competition that I'd never done before. In fact, one of the reasons I didn't audition to go back to Florida is that I felt it important to sing in this. Somehow I got my hopes up that I would win something, despite the fact that they rarely choose anyone over 25. (They're morons, by the way--most of the people they choose can't cut it at that level because they're too damn young.) At least I was hoping for some useful feedback from the judges; not much of that either. In fact, one of the judges told me I had the beginnings of a wobble because of lousy breathing and that I needed to take care of it immediately if I had any desire to continue singing. Um, no, I don't have a wobble, asshole, and any vibrato problems I have (just below the passaggio, I know) are resonance issues, not breathing issues. He made me really mad. The other judges were more positive, but their criticism was stuff I'd already heard before: do more dramatically (I really need dramatic coachings--good luck in this state!), watch below the passaggio... So it seems kind of like a big-ass waste of time. I was, however, able to make at least two connections with opera companies in the state who seem eager to meet with me. And honestly, that's a lot more important in the long run than winning some competition. I think.
Anyway, as far as the previous posts: things are a bit better, but... I don't know, I just haven't felt like myself for months. Tired all the time (even when I can sleep), very moody, bored as hell at work--not to mention barely able to make it through the day blood sugar-wise (at least that's what I think it is), insane back and shoulder tension. I keep dwelling on uncomfortable things (see last post). My stomach goes nuts every time I have to sing--I can't even look at food, and have to dose myself with Imodium and Gas-X two days in advance. I'm even starting to get headaches, which I've never had a problem with before. Who knows what the hell is wrong with me now... I have a doctor's appointment in two weeks, thankfully, so I need to remember to write down everything. I don't know if it's just because of the medication (I think not), or if I need to be on anti-anxiety medication... I do research on the computer, but there's so much conflicting information out there, plus I know not to trust much of it.
And believe me, I know I don't have much to complain about. It just shouldn't be so hard for me to get through the day, you know?
In happier news, I have finally finished a sweater I've been working on for Mark--only after redoing one of the arms three times because it kept coming out eight inches too long. Turns out I was making that one correctly, and the sleeve that fit had a mistake in it. He doesn't have crazy short arms or anything--just weird. Also, I got a really good haircut the other day.
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