Friday Five
1. As a child, who was your favorite superhero/heroine? Why?
Probably Wonder Woman, because of the boobs and the invisible plane. But I don't remember too well.
2. What was one thing you always wanted as a child but never got?
Ballet lessons! All my friends were taking ballet, and I really wanted to, but had somehow decided that my parents didn't have enough money to pay for dance classes so I never asked. At least that's what my mother says. I always thought I had asked, but my parents said they couldn't afford it.
3. What's the furthest from home you've been?
Madrid, for a few hours in 1985. Then we went to Portugal--that was pretty far away. The next farthest would be Minneapolis--pretty damn far from New York and North Carolina.
4. What's one thing you've always wanted to learn but haven't yet?
Ballroom dancing! Mark is pretty good, actually, but he hasn't taught me much yet. (I'm a slow learner.)
5. What are your plans for the weekend?
Mark is coming here--I think we're going to Old Salem (tourist trap) tomorrow, and maybe we'll have dinner with Elena and Jeff. Sunday evening I will hopefully hear from Helen. And I have to read that stupid dissertation.
I have to go to class. More later.
Friday, January 31
Thursday, January 30
At the round earth's imagin'd corners, blow
Your trumpets, Angells, and arise, arise
From death, you numberlesse infinities
Of soules, and to your scattered bodies goe,
All whom the flood did, and fire shall o'erthrow,
All whom warre, dearth, age, agues, tyrannies,
Despaire, law, chance, hath slaine, and you whose eyes,
Shall behold God and never taste death's woe.
But let them sleepe, Lord, and mee mourne a space,
For, if above all these, my sinnes abound,
'Tis late to aske abundance of Thy grace,
When wee are there; here on this lowly ground.
Teach mee how to repent; for that's as good
As if Thou hadst seal'd my pardon, with Thy blood.
--John Donne
We are singing a gorgeous arrangement of this sonnet in choir this semester. Hey, I just realized it's a Petrarchan sonnet. How in the world did I remember that? I guess I was just trying to figure out the rhyme scheme: ABBAABBACDCDEE. Yup, Italian sonnet. I am so proud of myself. I am such a big nerd.
I haven't been feeling well today. I need to get a good night's sleep tonight. And my inbox is full at work again. {{sigh}} Okay, I'd better go see if there's a ticket on my windshield...
Your trumpets, Angells, and arise, arise
From death, you numberlesse infinities
Of soules, and to your scattered bodies goe,
All whom the flood did, and fire shall o'erthrow,
All whom warre, dearth, age, agues, tyrannies,
Despaire, law, chance, hath slaine, and you whose eyes,
Shall behold God and never taste death's woe.
But let them sleepe, Lord, and mee mourne a space,
For, if above all these, my sinnes abound,
'Tis late to aske abundance of Thy grace,
When wee are there; here on this lowly ground.
Teach mee how to repent; for that's as good
As if Thou hadst seal'd my pardon, with Thy blood.
--John Donne
We are singing a gorgeous arrangement of this sonnet in choir this semester. Hey, I just realized it's a Petrarchan sonnet. How in the world did I remember that? I guess I was just trying to figure out the rhyme scheme: ABBAABBACDCDEE. Yup, Italian sonnet. I am so proud of myself. I am such a big nerd.
I haven't been feeling well today. I need to get a good night's sleep tonight. And my inbox is full at work again. {{sigh}} Okay, I'd better go see if there's a ticket on my windshield...
Wednesday, January 29
I know, my archives aren't working, plus the comments are still not up. I e-mailed Greg, and hopefully he will come to save my ass again when he finds it possible to tear himself away from his beautiful family. If I were him, I wouldn't get anything done...
Anyway, I'm just writing to say hello. I have to go pick up the dissertation I got on inter-library loan (not only do I have to schlep across campus for it, but it came on MICROFILM, so I can't even take it home to read--sucks!)--plus my car has been parked overtime for like three hours now... Not too much is up today. I was able to take (copious) notes on my lesson and practice with my accompanist. My voice teacher told me Monday that I have to sing in rep class next week--you'd think I have something ready, and I do, sort of, but I still need to run it through with her a bit in my next lesson. I also had a very brief opera chorus rehearsal--just the way I like them! Oh, and I had that dumb opera class today. I hadn't done the reading or the listening (partially in protest), so I just sat quiet in class and took notes. Wonder of wonders, the professor actually lectured today! I'll try not to get used to it. In related news, I think I finally have a paper topic nailed down. I just hope this professor thinks it's "substantive" enough this time! And on the work front, I've finally gotten out from under last Thursday's pile of subcontracts! I'm actually almost caught up. That feels really good.
So I've actually had a pretty good day, I guess. (++) I'll keep y'all posted. And THE BACHELORETTE is on tonight...she didn't pick my guy (Bob, a cuter/older/Midwestern version of Davin), so I guess I have to root for Ryan. Even though he writes bad poetry, at least he's semi-literate and not an asshole. Plus he's a firefighter. Danger, Will Robinson!
P.S. Cathy--I thought you said you were updating your webpage! I hope this lights a fire under your butt.
Anyway, I'm just writing to say hello. I have to go pick up the dissertation I got on inter-library loan (not only do I have to schlep across campus for it, but it came on MICROFILM, so I can't even take it home to read--sucks!)--plus my car has been parked overtime for like three hours now... Not too much is up today. I was able to take (copious) notes on my lesson and practice with my accompanist. My voice teacher told me Monday that I have to sing in rep class next week--you'd think I have something ready, and I do, sort of, but I still need to run it through with her a bit in my next lesson. I also had a very brief opera chorus rehearsal--just the way I like them! Oh, and I had that dumb opera class today. I hadn't done the reading or the listening (partially in protest), so I just sat quiet in class and took notes. Wonder of wonders, the professor actually lectured today! I'll try not to get used to it. In related news, I think I finally have a paper topic nailed down. I just hope this professor thinks it's "substantive" enough this time! And on the work front, I've finally gotten out from under last Thursday's pile of subcontracts! I'm actually almost caught up. That feels really good.
So I've actually had a pretty good day, I guess. (++) I'll keep y'all posted. And THE BACHELORETTE is on tonight...she didn't pick my guy (Bob, a cuter/older/Midwestern version of Davin), so I guess I have to root for Ryan. Even though he writes bad poetry, at least he's semi-literate and not an asshole. Plus he's a firefighter. Danger, Will Robinson!
P.S. Cathy--I thought you said you were updating your webpage! I hope this lights a fire under your butt.
Tuesday, January 28
Monday, January 27
Today I had to lead the discussion in my Opera class. I don't like doing that sort of thing (who does? and I'm used to getting up in front of people), but the professor volunteered me. Well, I didn't feel as prepared as I could have, but it went okay. But after class, when I asked people how it went, they said that the professor kept interrupting me and questioning me, and that they would've been pissed if she'd done that to them. I didn't even notice until they mentioned it. I do appreciate suggestions, but she really was second-guessing everything I did. I got this e-mail from her before, thanking me for leading the class--so what's her deal? I think she's just not really a teacher-type. I swear, I haven't learned a single thing in our "class discussions". The consensus from the people I've spoken to is that they really wanted a lecture-style class, and they didn't get it and are very disappointed. Over half the people originally registered for the class have dropped it--there's less than fifteen students there now. Two people decided to drop the class just this afternoon. It's just really disappointing. Plus she doesn't think my paper topic is substantive enough for a 15-20 page paper--while I beg to differ. So now I'm going crazy, trying to find another angle for my paper--for which a 5-page prospectus is due in two weeks. It's aggravating...
In other news: I had a good lesson, though my teacher thinks I probably won't sing Mimi anytime soon because my voice is too bright. I never knew I had a bright voice! My other teachers always said it was "chocolatey" or whatever. I just don't want to have one of those big metallic Wagnerian voices--though I guess Verdi's always an option, and you know I can cut over an orchestra. I dunno... Oh, and also, I just learned the basse danse in my dance class this evening--it's easier than the minuet, pretty much. I have a paper for that class, too...I have NO idea what to write about. At first I had wanted to write about the Shakers, but then Mark told me that they don't really dance per se. Maybe I won't start thinking about that one just yet....
In other news: I had a good lesson, though my teacher thinks I probably won't sing Mimi anytime soon because my voice is too bright. I never knew I had a bright voice! My other teachers always said it was "chocolatey" or whatever. I just don't want to have one of those big metallic Wagnerian voices--though I guess Verdi's always an option, and you know I can cut over an orchestra. I dunno... Oh, and also, I just learned the basse danse in my dance class this evening--it's easier than the minuet, pretty much. I have a paper for that class, too...I have NO idea what to write about. At first I had wanted to write about the Shakers, but then Mark told me that they don't really dance per se. Maybe I won't start thinking about that one just yet....
Sunday, January 26
In a dusty cathedral
The living God called
And I prayed for my life
Here on Earth
---E. Saliers
A bit of evangelical poetry from the Indigo Girls...I hated them for years, you know. But they're cool. Amy's voice and Emily's songs...
I would rather not bore you with the details of the last three days' events, but I feel I must. As soon as I left the library Friday, I intercepted a message from Mark telling me that he wouldn't be able to make it down here this weekend because he was stuck doing this favor for a sister paper (maverick neurologist has license suspended by N.C. Medical Board--it'll probably be on 20/20 next week), which for some reason pissed me off beyond belief. Now, Mark's job doesn't interfere with our relationship nearly as much as it used to (when he would show up an hour late to meet me places, not get home until 9 or 10 some nights, etc.), but everytime it does, well, it still irritates me, even though I know it's a fact of life when you're in love with a reporter. I already know to keep dinner on the stove, you know? Anyway, I think I was more angry because I had been starting to make plans for the weekend already. Plus it's Superbowl weekend, and we usually get in some alone time if we don't have any interest in the game. But for whatever reason--partly because I'd had a really long week--I just kind of blew up. I tried to warm up before my rehearsal, and I couldn't even manage that, I was so distracted by my anger. Then I found out rehearsal was cancelled. That was the last straw. I was seeing red. Within a few minutes I had filled with enough misanthropy to make me storm out of the music building with the full intention of wallowing in a pint of B&J. Then--I guess I am learning some sort of coping techniques--I said, "Okay, I'll go home first, do some yoga and then go to the store." That became, "Maybe I should take a nap, too...And perhaps lunch first?" I was already halfway home when I breathed a sigh of relief--I turned my strong impulse to binge into plans to make myself a normal-sized, healthy lunch and do some exercise. Great! So I got home, prepared my lunch, and was eating when Mark called with further details. Not only is this hearing going on into the evening, but it will recommence at 8 A.M. on Saturday. Pissy again! The one day I get to spend with him all week, and he'll be gone all morning and part of the afternoon, and then he'll have to file the story!! I was right back where I started. He helped me talk things out--and the main reason I had been freaking out is because I've been putting so much pressure on myself. I look at my life, my schedule, and I just want to cover my eyes. There's NO way I can get everything done and still stay healthy! And when I get like that, I slack--like I did on Thursday (classes were cancelled because of a snowstorm). I went to work in the morning (albeit 30 minutes late), stayed an extra hour so I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed Friday, went to the grocery store, and proceeded to warm the armchair for seven hours or so, even when I knew I had to lead a discussion the next day (which got postponed to tomorrow, anyway) on an article I hadn't read yet. When I feel overpressured, I have this amazing "fuck you all" response. If y'all don't let me do this my way, on my terms, it won't get done, capisce? But that only lasts so long, you know...then the overachiever guilt kicks in, and I end up doing said rhetorical task anyway and feel even more rushed and pressured. I need to develop a new outlook on deadlines, and I need to find a way to manage my anger--which turns on like a switch these days, for whatever reason. But what is the deal with my retaliatory procrastination? That doesn't even make any sense, particularly when the only person hurt by it is me, not some theoretical Authority Figure against which I can rebel. You can't fight The Man when there is no Man!! Whoo, I can be totally insane sometimes...
And look what I'm doing now--procrastinating on this stupid annotation project I have due tomorrow. Anyway, yeah, so I went to Raleigh Friday night, and ended up spending Saturday morning getting Mark's car fixed (I am the Girlfriend of the Year, you know) and mailing the Christmas presents. (You know how I delayed giving them because I was waiting for things I had ordered? Well, my shipment finally came--two weeks after Christmas, when they were supposedly guaranteed to come before--and the items I had specifically ordered for Helen and Cathy turned up discontinued and unavailable or some other shit, and of course nobody bothered to contact me. Suffice it to say I'm never ordering from that company again. Oh, it was Yves Rocher. Don't order from them!!) Mark got out at about two o'clock, so I bought us lunch and did laundry and took a nap while he wrote. He woke me up around five-thirty and we had a lovely evening. And today I woke up late, barely got to church on time, bought some food, watched the last two-thirds of THE STEPMOM ((sob)), did my yoga and came here. So I've been fucking around for a while--time for me to get back to work... But I don't want you to worry too much about me--I'm better off than I was last semester (though my workload is pushing it). I'm still working on things...
The living God called
And I prayed for my life
Here on Earth
---E. Saliers
A bit of evangelical poetry from the Indigo Girls...I hated them for years, you know. But they're cool. Amy's voice and Emily's songs...
I would rather not bore you with the details of the last three days' events, but I feel I must. As soon as I left the library Friday, I intercepted a message from Mark telling me that he wouldn't be able to make it down here this weekend because he was stuck doing this favor for a sister paper (maverick neurologist has license suspended by N.C. Medical Board--it'll probably be on 20/20 next week), which for some reason pissed me off beyond belief. Now, Mark's job doesn't interfere with our relationship nearly as much as it used to (when he would show up an hour late to meet me places, not get home until 9 or 10 some nights, etc.), but everytime it does, well, it still irritates me, even though I know it's a fact of life when you're in love with a reporter. I already know to keep dinner on the stove, you know? Anyway, I think I was more angry because I had been starting to make plans for the weekend already. Plus it's Superbowl weekend, and we usually get in some alone time if we don't have any interest in the game. But for whatever reason--partly because I'd had a really long week--I just kind of blew up. I tried to warm up before my rehearsal, and I couldn't even manage that, I was so distracted by my anger. Then I found out rehearsal was cancelled. That was the last straw. I was seeing red. Within a few minutes I had filled with enough misanthropy to make me storm out of the music building with the full intention of wallowing in a pint of B&J. Then--I guess I am learning some sort of coping techniques--I said, "Okay, I'll go home first, do some yoga and then go to the store." That became, "Maybe I should take a nap, too...And perhaps lunch first?" I was already halfway home when I breathed a sigh of relief--I turned my strong impulse to binge into plans to make myself a normal-sized, healthy lunch and do some exercise. Great! So I got home, prepared my lunch, and was eating when Mark called with further details. Not only is this hearing going on into the evening, but it will recommence at 8 A.M. on Saturday. Pissy again! The one day I get to spend with him all week, and he'll be gone all morning and part of the afternoon, and then he'll have to file the story!! I was right back where I started. He helped me talk things out--and the main reason I had been freaking out is because I've been putting so much pressure on myself. I look at my life, my schedule, and I just want to cover my eyes. There's NO way I can get everything done and still stay healthy! And when I get like that, I slack--like I did on Thursday (classes were cancelled because of a snowstorm). I went to work in the morning (albeit 30 minutes late), stayed an extra hour so I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed Friday, went to the grocery store, and proceeded to warm the armchair for seven hours or so, even when I knew I had to lead a discussion the next day (which got postponed to tomorrow, anyway) on an article I hadn't read yet. When I feel overpressured, I have this amazing "fuck you all" response. If y'all don't let me do this my way, on my terms, it won't get done, capisce? But that only lasts so long, you know...then the overachiever guilt kicks in, and I end up doing said rhetorical task anyway and feel even more rushed and pressured. I need to develop a new outlook on deadlines, and I need to find a way to manage my anger--which turns on like a switch these days, for whatever reason. But what is the deal with my retaliatory procrastination? That doesn't even make any sense, particularly when the only person hurt by it is me, not some theoretical Authority Figure against which I can rebel. You can't fight The Man when there is no Man!! Whoo, I can be totally insane sometimes...
And look what I'm doing now--procrastinating on this stupid annotation project I have due tomorrow. Anyway, yeah, so I went to Raleigh Friday night, and ended up spending Saturday morning getting Mark's car fixed (I am the Girlfriend of the Year, you know) and mailing the Christmas presents. (You know how I delayed giving them because I was waiting for things I had ordered? Well, my shipment finally came--two weeks after Christmas, when they were supposedly guaranteed to come before--and the items I had specifically ordered for Helen and Cathy turned up discontinued and unavailable or some other shit, and of course nobody bothered to contact me. Suffice it to say I'm never ordering from that company again. Oh, it was Yves Rocher. Don't order from them!!) Mark got out at about two o'clock, so I bought us lunch and did laundry and took a nap while he wrote. He woke me up around five-thirty and we had a lovely evening. And today I woke up late, barely got to church on time, bought some food, watched the last two-thirds of THE STEPMOM ((sob)), did my yoga and came here. So I've been fucking around for a while--time for me to get back to work... But I don't want you to worry too much about me--I'm better off than I was last semester (though my workload is pushing it). I'm still working on things...
Friday, January 24
Ah, time for the Friday Five...
1. What is one thing you don't like about your body?
I've recently gained weight on the top of my ass. That means nothing fits...
2. What are two things you love about your body?
1. My curves.
2. Small ears.
3. What are three things you want to change about your home?
1. Finish framing and putting art postcards on the wall.
2. Finish patchwork wallhanging (for behind the television).
3. Get my parents to finally bring up that couch, so I have more than one chair in the living room.
4. What are four books you want to read this year?
1. The Satanic Verses.
2. More Ursula LeGuin books.
3. Bridget Jones's Diary.
4. Cathy's book, once she finishes it. :)
5. What are five promises you have kept to yourself?
1. Not giving up on my dream of being a professional musician, despite judgment from various parties...
2. Dropping change in every Salvation Army box I pass at Christmastime.
3. Quitting the bulimia.
4. Not shopping in Bath and Body Works. (No, I buy my bath products elsewhere...)
5. Keeping in touch with many of my friends from college.
More later. I have to move my car.....
1. What is one thing you don't like about your body?
I've recently gained weight on the top of my ass. That means nothing fits...
2. What are two things you love about your body?
1. My curves.
2. Small ears.
3. What are three things you want to change about your home?
1. Finish framing and putting art postcards on the wall.
2. Finish patchwork wallhanging (for behind the television).
3. Get my parents to finally bring up that couch, so I have more than one chair in the living room.
4. What are four books you want to read this year?
1. The Satanic Verses.
2. More Ursula LeGuin books.
3. Bridget Jones's Diary.
4. Cathy's book, once she finishes it. :)
5. What are five promises you have kept to yourself?
1. Not giving up on my dream of being a professional musician, despite judgment from various parties...
2. Dropping change in every Salvation Army box I pass at Christmastime.
3. Quitting the bulimia.
4. Not shopping in Bath and Body Works. (No, I buy my bath products elsewhere...)
5. Keeping in touch with many of my friends from college.
More later. I have to move my car.....
Tuesday, January 21
After Helen complimented me for posting two days in a row, just look what I go and do! Well, I've been trying to get re-acclimated to school. I'd say it's going about average. I'm having lots of trouble with my new 6 A.M. reveille--this morning I could NOT get up, to the extent that I called into work. I guess it's time to try the old rum-Benadryl cocktails again... only for a week, of course, just so I can learn to get to sleep before midnight. I've been busy, but I do feel like I'm getting things accomplished for a change. (Although it took me over half an hour to get to the homepage of this stupid class blackboard thing--I HATE it...)
Speaking of which: the Christmas presents will go in the mail on Saturday, probably. Think of them as Superbowl presents, if you must... :)
I'll write more tomorrow, when my bedtime isn't looming...
Speaking of which: the Christmas presents will go in the mail on Saturday, probably. Think of them as Superbowl presents, if you must... :)
I'll write more tomorrow, when my bedtime isn't looming...
Tuesday, January 14
The first two Austin Powers movies were on TV last week; I knew I shouldn't have watched them. Last night I had a nightmare that I was a spy--at the end, this man was trying to break into the house/lair (actually, my house in Middletown) that I shared with an older couple, also spies (though I was involved with the man--they were a sham, apparently). We were out on the lawn, and were shooting at him and his accomplice. The male spy threw a handgrenade at him, which left a big hole in the street outside but seemed to work. Then I saw him creeping up the driveway, so we all ran into the house, with me in the rear. I had just locked the door when he just walked right in as if it weren't locked--and I was still behind the door. He didn't see me, though, and headed downstairs. I think it was partly about me feeling ineffectual--while we were out on the lawn my machine gun ran out of bullets, and apparently I don't know how to lock a door. Either way, it woke me up completely, and I was very hot and my heart was racing. It was just this strange dream. What a way to wake up in the morning!
I was in the office by myself this morning--I actually managed to sneak in some reading for my opera class before my supervisor came. Then I came to campus and had choir. After that there was this issue...I had registered for this Hugo Wolf repertoire class in the fall, but never heard anything more about it. Once I got here, I noticed people carrying around Wolf books, but I didn't know why. Apparently the registration was messed up, and there was supposed to be a cap put on registration for the class but there wasn't. In any case, I'm on the system as being in the class, but I'm not. It's kind of good, because I'm so busy this semester, but it was kind of stressful when I didn't know what was going on. So now I'm going to audit the class--so I get to watch people sing for another two hours a week, basically. But such wonderful music! Oh, and then I had my voice lesson--a shortened one, where just had time to talk about new repertoire and my jury from last semester. I love learning new music. It's the fixing technique that is a bother...
I talked to Mark about my whole paper-writing anxiety thing. He thinks I should do that whole index card thing, which I've never done before--my method, even with the Honors Thesis, was to make photocopies and underline stuff, or take notes, and then highlight points in different colors to correspond with the section of the paper in which they belonged. It took a lot of paper-shuffling, but it seemed to work. But God, I'm getting agitato just thinking about it...that feeling of tired, woozy crankiness; the empty, slimy pint box of Ben & Jerry's on my desk; the weird BO from being up all night; the sore scalp from playing with my hair (a bad habit when I write papers); the stiff back from sitting in a chair for too many hours; the mononucleosis-like pain behind my eyes... I HATED feeling that way. That's all-nighters, I guess. I just never want to experience that again. And honestly, I really can't--I have to be at work at eight in the morning regardless, and I know I wouldn't make it through the entire day... Tomorrow starts with me, right? Just don't let it happen again, right? No procrastinating, right? Well, I'll try. But I'm still not jazzed about having to write two big papers in a semester all over again. Too many bad memories. At least I already have a topic for the one paper. (It's already due next week, so it's not like I'm all that ahead of the game anyway...)
I was in the office by myself this morning--I actually managed to sneak in some reading for my opera class before my supervisor came. Then I came to campus and had choir. After that there was this issue...I had registered for this Hugo Wolf repertoire class in the fall, but never heard anything more about it. Once I got here, I noticed people carrying around Wolf books, but I didn't know why. Apparently the registration was messed up, and there was supposed to be a cap put on registration for the class but there wasn't. In any case, I'm on the system as being in the class, but I'm not. It's kind of good, because I'm so busy this semester, but it was kind of stressful when I didn't know what was going on. So now I'm going to audit the class--so I get to watch people sing for another two hours a week, basically. But such wonderful music! Oh, and then I had my voice lesson--a shortened one, where just had time to talk about new repertoire and my jury from last semester. I love learning new music. It's the fixing technique that is a bother...
I talked to Mark about my whole paper-writing anxiety thing. He thinks I should do that whole index card thing, which I've never done before--my method, even with the Honors Thesis, was to make photocopies and underline stuff, or take notes, and then highlight points in different colors to correspond with the section of the paper in which they belonged. It took a lot of paper-shuffling, but it seemed to work. But God, I'm getting agitato just thinking about it...that feeling of tired, woozy crankiness; the empty, slimy pint box of Ben & Jerry's on my desk; the weird BO from being up all night; the sore scalp from playing with my hair (a bad habit when I write papers); the stiff back from sitting in a chair for too many hours; the mononucleosis-like pain behind my eyes... I HATED feeling that way. That's all-nighters, I guess. I just never want to experience that again. And honestly, I really can't--I have to be at work at eight in the morning regardless, and I know I wouldn't make it through the entire day... Tomorrow starts with me, right? Just don't let it happen again, right? No procrastinating, right? Well, I'll try. But I'm still not jazzed about having to write two big papers in a semester all over again. Too many bad memories. At least I already have a topic for the one paper. (It's already due next week, so it's not like I'm all that ahead of the game anyway...)
Monday, January 13
First day of classes, and already everything is verruckt...
I'm taking a heavy courseload this semester, and also am working four mornings a week. On the bright side I have Tuesday afternoons free after 3pm--which I will use for research/practice/writing time (altruistically). I guess the first day--when you find out about all the papers you have to write, and all the reading you have to do--is supposed to be very stressful, though! Things get easier. I look forward to the reading, actually. And I am taking some cool classes--History of Opera and a seminar called "Music and Dance" where we, besides academic stuff, learn (mostly Baroque) dances. Today we've already learned the minuet. My feet hurt! I guess the part I get anxious about is the paper-writing. It's been years since I've written a paper--and we all know what happened last time. Yeah, I had a huge panic attack and was willing to harm myself physically in order to get out of writing it. I never ever want to be in that place again. I know that things are different now--that I'm different now--but still I worry. I know that I can do this--I do want to be here, after all, and these classes interest me, but I still have that fear. Me, afraid of writing papers! And funny, I'm just realizing all this now. I guess this blog thing is paying off...
Speaking of the blog paying off--sometime in the middle of December I got an e-mail from that professor that reminds me of my father. He was apologizing for my having such a short time to sing during that last class meeting, and for my time also being cut short the first time I sang (remember, I cried the next time when we were finishing?), and offered to work with me privately on an aria sometime this semester. I was a little freaked at first--mostly worrying about how I would feel with just him as an audience (though my accompanist would be there, too)--so I didn't write him back, figuring I would wait until I got back to fill him in on details. Well, this morning I ran into him--I told him that I did get his e-mail, what I would sing, etc., and he said, "So do you forgive me?" The poor man had been waiting for me to answer his e-mail for a month, because he felt bad about (supposedly) putting me out! This all made me feel like a bit heartless--I mean, I know I had my reasons, but still. It was never my intent to do that...Anyway, that was interesting.
I have to get home, but two things:
1. Mark's and my anniversary was Saturday. We [ahem] slept in, I made pancakes, we relaxed, did some window-shopping, then we had a wonderful (and expensive) dinner. The swordfish was perfect, and the cheesecake was divine. I gave him a sweater, and he gave me a silver locket which I broke before I could get it out of the package! I felt bad because I broke it, and he felt bad for buying me a "shoddy" present. Never fear, he returned it and is purchasing something a bit more sturdy...
2. More Mark news: his brother's wife is pregnant! This is so exciting! She was actually a few weeks along when we were staying with them, but I guess they didn't know yet... With all the babies around, I hope it's not catching... ;-)
I'm taking a heavy courseload this semester, and also am working four mornings a week. On the bright side I have Tuesday afternoons free after 3pm--which I will use for research/practice/writing time (altruistically). I guess the first day--when you find out about all the papers you have to write, and all the reading you have to do--is supposed to be very stressful, though! Things get easier. I look forward to the reading, actually. And I am taking some cool classes--History of Opera and a seminar called "Music and Dance" where we, besides academic stuff, learn (mostly Baroque) dances. Today we've already learned the minuet. My feet hurt! I guess the part I get anxious about is the paper-writing. It's been years since I've written a paper--and we all know what happened last time. Yeah, I had a huge panic attack and was willing to harm myself physically in order to get out of writing it. I never ever want to be in that place again. I know that things are different now--that I'm different now--but still I worry. I know that I can do this--I do want to be here, after all, and these classes interest me, but I still have that fear. Me, afraid of writing papers! And funny, I'm just realizing all this now. I guess this blog thing is paying off...
Speaking of the blog paying off--sometime in the middle of December I got an e-mail from that professor that reminds me of my father. He was apologizing for my having such a short time to sing during that last class meeting, and for my time also being cut short the first time I sang (remember, I cried the next time when we were finishing?), and offered to work with me privately on an aria sometime this semester. I was a little freaked at first--mostly worrying about how I would feel with just him as an audience (though my accompanist would be there, too)--so I didn't write him back, figuring I would wait until I got back to fill him in on details. Well, this morning I ran into him--I told him that I did get his e-mail, what I would sing, etc., and he said, "So do you forgive me?" The poor man had been waiting for me to answer his e-mail for a month, because he felt bad about (supposedly) putting me out! This all made me feel like a bit heartless--I mean, I know I had my reasons, but still. It was never my intent to do that...Anyway, that was interesting.
I have to get home, but two things:
1. Mark's and my anniversary was Saturday. We [ahem] slept in, I made pancakes, we relaxed, did some window-shopping, then we had a wonderful (and expensive) dinner. The swordfish was perfect, and the cheesecake was divine. I gave him a sweater, and he gave me a silver locket which I broke before I could get it out of the package! I felt bad because I broke it, and he felt bad for buying me a "shoddy" present. Never fear, he returned it and is purchasing something a bit more sturdy...
2. More Mark news: his brother's wife is pregnant! This is so exciting! She was actually a few weeks along when we were staying with them, but I guess they didn't know yet... With all the babies around, I hope it's not catching... ;-)
Wednesday, January 8
Okay, I'm finally back in _________--and classes start in less than a week! I just bought my books (on my credit card, since I have $200 in the bank and am still waiting for my loan refund...), and am at last able to relate my many Winter Break adventures. Too bad I'm tired from lifting boxes at work and don't feel like spending another hour here. So here, submitted for your approval, is the Short Version:
Week 1: 12/14--12/20
Buffalo: Had a great time meeting Mark's brother and spending more time with his family. Unfortunately I didn't get to see Erik--we waited an hour, but then were headed to the cemetery (where Mark's parents are) when he called, 15 minutes after we left. I was already tense about meeting his parents...I hope you know that I'm sorry, Erik!
Wilmington: Went down for Friday and Saturday to attend a party for St. James's choir and a going-away party for one of Mark's coworkers at the editor's house (in a ritzy gated community, no less). It was nice to see everyone. Plus Helen had the baby on Friday!! :) While I was down there my father looked at my car--apparently the collision people did a kind of crappy job fixing my car, which I'm not too happy about.
Week 2: 12/21-12/27
Drove back to _________ bright and early Sunday, worked all day Monday, drove back to Raleigh Monday night...Drove to Wilmington Tuesday, did my three services. The first thing I did on Christmas was take a whirlpool bath in our hotel suite (there were only seven rooms occupied in the entire hotel!)...that was wonderful. In the morning we relaxed and went to my parents' house for lunch, then stopped at Mark's friend's house on our way back to Raleigh. Gifts of note: red satin pajamas, a book and a cast-iron frying pan from Mark; a blender, massage gift certificates and The Perfect Pancake (AS SEEN ON TV!) from my parents. Thursday and Friday I relaxed.
Week 3: 12/28-1/3
Saturday with Mark, Sunday in __________ (I had a solo in church), Monday to work then back to Raleigh. We went to First Night Raleigh for New Year's Eve, which was pretty fun. On New Year's Day we saw the new Lord of the Rings movie (what's with Aragorn falling off a cliff?!), and Thursday I did a bit of shopping. Friday I got on the train to Washington, and Cathy and I talked all evening at her apartment.
Week 4: 1/4-1/8
We slept really late on Saturday, but in the afternoon and evening we went shopping and spent time with my aunt and her boyfriend. We were snowed in on Sunday, but took the time to watch MST:3K and the infamous video from August 1994!! I got to the train station at about 8:30 on Monday, several hours early--then the train was delayed an hour. Then, outside of Richmond, we were parked on the tracks for two hours because some freight train ahead was having problems. I didn't get into Raleigh until 7:30 PM. So Mark and I went to dinner, had some mindblowing you-know-what, then I tried to get five hours of sleep so I could leave for __________ in the morning. So here I am.
Getting kicked out of computer room. More later...
Week 1: 12/14--12/20
Buffalo: Had a great time meeting Mark's brother and spending more time with his family. Unfortunately I didn't get to see Erik--we waited an hour, but then were headed to the cemetery (where Mark's parents are) when he called, 15 minutes after we left. I was already tense about meeting his parents...I hope you know that I'm sorry, Erik!
Wilmington: Went down for Friday and Saturday to attend a party for St. James's choir and a going-away party for one of Mark's coworkers at the editor's house (in a ritzy gated community, no less). It was nice to see everyone. Plus Helen had the baby on Friday!! :) While I was down there my father looked at my car--apparently the collision people did a kind of crappy job fixing my car, which I'm not too happy about.
Week 2: 12/21-12/27
Drove back to _________ bright and early Sunday, worked all day Monday, drove back to Raleigh Monday night...Drove to Wilmington Tuesday, did my three services. The first thing I did on Christmas was take a whirlpool bath in our hotel suite (there were only seven rooms occupied in the entire hotel!)...that was wonderful. In the morning we relaxed and went to my parents' house for lunch, then stopped at Mark's friend's house on our way back to Raleigh. Gifts of note: red satin pajamas, a book and a cast-iron frying pan from Mark; a blender, massage gift certificates and The Perfect Pancake (AS SEEN ON TV!) from my parents. Thursday and Friday I relaxed.
Week 3: 12/28-1/3
Saturday with Mark, Sunday in __________ (I had a solo in church), Monday to work then back to Raleigh. We went to First Night Raleigh for New Year's Eve, which was pretty fun. On New Year's Day we saw the new Lord of the Rings movie (what's with Aragorn falling off a cliff?!), and Thursday I did a bit of shopping. Friday I got on the train to Washington, and Cathy and I talked all evening at her apartment.
Week 4: 1/4-1/8
We slept really late on Saturday, but in the afternoon and evening we went shopping and spent time with my aunt and her boyfriend. We were snowed in on Sunday, but took the time to watch MST:3K and the infamous video from August 1994!! I got to the train station at about 8:30 on Monday, several hours early--then the train was delayed an hour. Then, outside of Richmond, we were parked on the tracks for two hours because some freight train ahead was having problems. I didn't get into Raleigh until 7:30 PM. So Mark and I went to dinner, had some mindblowing you-know-what, then I tried to get five hours of sleep so I could leave for __________ in the morning. So here I am.
Getting kicked out of computer room. More later...
Sunday, January 5
I'm at Cathy's right now--a long day has passed... I promise y'all will get a huge entry on Tuesday or Wednesday, but for now it's just The Friday Five:
1. Do you wear any jewelry? What kind?
Usually one necklace--right now I go between a silver sixteenth-note and a Colonial Charleston-style rice bead Y-necklace--and a watch. I also wear a ring several times a week. Not usually any earrings, unless I have a performance or something.
2. How often do you wear it?
See above. I'm usually wearing a necklace, though.
3. Do you have any piercings? If so, where?
Three in each ear--though the top two have closed up--and, proud to say, an inner labia piercing. I don't usually wear anything in there, but it certainly hasn't closed up.
4. Do you have any tattoos? If so, where?
Right now I have a henna tattoo from First Night, but otherwise nada. When I was in high school I wanted to have a barcode tattooed on my ass, as a silent protest against the Consumerist Heteropatriarchy. I'm really glad I didn't do that. Can you imagine what would happen if, say, a stretchmark developed under it?!
5. What are your plans for the weekend?
Like I said, I'm in DC. Restaurants, shopping, possibly some history or culture. And tonight we passed by the Washington NBC studios--where Tim Russert's office is! I'm sure Mark will be totally jealous...
1. Do you wear any jewelry? What kind?
Usually one necklace--right now I go between a silver sixteenth-note and a Colonial Charleston-style rice bead Y-necklace--and a watch. I also wear a ring several times a week. Not usually any earrings, unless I have a performance or something.
2. How often do you wear it?
See above. I'm usually wearing a necklace, though.
3. Do you have any piercings? If so, where?
Three in each ear--though the top two have closed up--and, proud to say, an inner labia piercing. I don't usually wear anything in there, but it certainly hasn't closed up.
4. Do you have any tattoos? If so, where?
Right now I have a henna tattoo from First Night, but otherwise nada. When I was in high school I wanted to have a barcode tattooed on my ass, as a silent protest against the Consumerist Heteropatriarchy. I'm really glad I didn't do that. Can you imagine what would happen if, say, a stretchmark developed under it?!
5. What are your plans for the weekend?
Like I said, I'm in DC. Restaurants, shopping, possibly some history or culture. And tonight we passed by the Washington NBC studios--where Tim Russert's office is! I'm sure Mark will be totally jealous...
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