You won't believe this, but somehow I am sick again. No fair! I spent all of last month with that nasty cold... Luckily I think I have nipped this in the bud. Lots of sleep, sinus irrigation...big fun over here.

Not too much going on here. The competition went okay--at least nobody said I should switch back to soprano--but I did get comments that my repertoire is too big for my age. Okay, how old should I be before I can sing Verdi? Though honestly, I listened to myself singing a particular Verdi aria earlier this week, and I did actually sound, well, too lyric for it, for lack of a better term. I ain't no Fedora Barbieri yet! So I'm going to ratchet things back, and work on some (slightly) lighter rep. I do have one audition in February, but other than that everything's wide open right now--so there's no reason not to experiment and find the best fits for me. My teacher has also suggested I look at oratorio (two-day commitment, quick money!), which wasn't too great an option as a soprano (everything was always too light or too high), but I can kick ass on any of that Handel. Or the Beethoven 9, or the Verdi Requiem. Or Bach, for that matter. So there's that, too.

My Hansel and Gretel rehearsals start next Friday, and while I'm looking forward to getting back on stage I'm not looking forward to driving 150 miles round-trip for the rehearsals. Especially the day when I'm only called for 45 minutes. But we did the cost analysis when I first heard about the gig, and I'll still make money on it even with all the gas. (Plus right now gas is under $2 a gallon at Costco!) I'll get an audio book (or two) from the library--it makes the drive go so much faster, plus it helps me stay awake.

In moving news: the resumes are done, the clips are ready...we're basically just waiting for the right opportunity. There is another opportunity closer to home that Mark is exploring, but I'm not at liberty to discuss it. (Or else I'd have to kill you.) He's become increasingly tired of his job and the management, so he's more than happy to move on. Still needs a little bit of prodding, but that's what I'm for. On a slightly-related note, we bought him two new suits last weekend--a dark navy and a fantastic grey pinstripe. I am well aware that my husband looks hot in a suit, but I never mind being reminded. (Broad shoulders, mmmm...)

Oh, also, in the TMI department, I've made a GYN appointment for next month. (Between my two H&G performances, since that's the best time I could get.) My pain is not going away at all, and it hurts so much I basically just don't want to even try to have sex anymore. Libido gone. And Mark doesn't want to, either, because he doesn't want to hurt me. Sucky. So I'll probably have to have a laparoscopy, and hopefully then they'll have something to tell me. It's been over three years since these problems all started, and I'm really tired of it!

And re: Cathy's wedding... I have been looking online at bridesmaid dresses. Maybe I've become a prude all of a sudden (doubtful), but most of the ones I've seen are totally slutty. And I don't want to have to wear my corset, plus it'll be October, and outside...Yes, I think I'd like my arms covered. I'm really into portrait collars right now, for some reason, so maybe I'll end up with one of those translucent wrap jacket things. Hmmm. I think a shopping trip is in order!

And to close: look what somebody did to this dog!



DO NOT WANT!

By the way, if you should want to knit this little guy, the pattern is here. Brought to you by the sadists at Lion Brand Yarn!

I'm feeling segue-impaired right now, so I think I'll just make a list:

1. The thing with Mark's brother is on its way to being resolved. Mark believes his brother was purposely being nasty to him because of various abandonment issues, but their relationship is going to be better. This does not change the fact that his gross toes touched my plant. I'm willing to let him improve his standing with me, but my little cactus is not so quick to forgive.

2. About a month ago I heard about Pandora--I've been listening to it every day at work. It's an easy way to learn about different bands similar to what you already like, and the caveats I'd heard about it selecting things you hate--well, that can happen, but you just say you don't like it. I started a station with the Foo Fighters, and the second song it picked for me was Audioslave. Umm, no. But it learns quickly.

3. Six years ago today Mark and I had our first date. It was at a nice restaurant, and the food was decent but we had lousy service and never went back there. Dawson's Creek was filming up the street, so after dinner we walked over to the set but didn't see anything interesting. I was so nervous--I understand why, I guess, but it seems so silly now to have been nervous. I bet he was more nervous than I was, honestly.

4. Saturday will mark my mezzo debut, at the same competition I did this time last year and was so pissed about. The judges are better this year--maybe they'll actually have something valuable to say this time! I'm so new to this rep that I really can't expect anything. That and, as I mentioned last year, nobody over 25 ever advances. Hell, I'd be happier with the $400 consolation prize. I've taken tomorrow off work so I can concentrate on dramatic stuff, so I think I'll feel relatively prepared (considering I learned four of the five arias less than two months ago).

5. If you are yet unaware of the cat macro phenomenon, you haven't yet lived. I am addicted to these things now!

My brother-in-law is the most annoying creature to walk the earth. He just stayed with us for a week, and I am very glad he is gone. Part of me wants to think it's mainly because I'm possessive of my boo :), but I know this is not the only reason: when Mark's twin and his family visited, I didn't feel this way. And I certainly don't feel like this when Mark's sister visits. No, the problem is Mark's brother: a crude, negative, bossy person. I just never realized it before this past week.

I really hate having to say this. But if disliking one of your inlaws makes you a bad person, I think everybody I know would be going straight to Hell. This is just the first time this has happened to me personally. And I feel really bad about it, because I don't want to hurt Mark's feelings. I didn't even tell Mark until yesterday, when I basically invented an errand for myself to escape the house, and Mark suggested I take his brother along. (The shrieks in my brain at this I cannot describe.) So I have to talk to him about it today. The fact is, Mark's brother is incredibly negative and complains or naysays everything--and when he does compliment something, it's always with surprise. He has lousy taste in movies (National Treasure, anyone?) and constantly denigrated our taste in movies and TV. (Also, he refers to movies as "flicks". I wanted to kill him.) He kept trying to tell Mark and me what to do in our own damn house. He came home every day before four o'clock, so I only got to practice once last week (and I have a competition in less than two weeks, with all new music!). (Okay, maybe this wasn't on purpose.) He belched constantly, and showered like once in a whole week, and put his bare feet on our ottoman, and our coffee table, and played with my Christmas cactus with his toes. Oh my God. Why is this ever acceptable? "Make yourself at home" does not equal, "Leave your dirty socks on my living room floor". You know what? Nobody treats me like this in my own house. And I let him get away with this why? Because he's "family", and I didn't feel like it was my place to say anything. Humph. Now I'm mad at myself for not saying anything.

I have New Year's resolutions! But I need to recuperate a bit first.

Awesomeness.

Your humble globe-trotter returned home on December 1, only to immediately come down with something nasty. It was like strep throat, but a different bacteria. And just when I thought I was out of the woods with it, the sinus symptoms kicked in. I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, thank goodness. I've been doing the bare minimum for over a week, honestly. I've even been leaving the house in a sweatshirt. This is something I do not do. (Incidentally, I could tell I was feeling better yesterday when I was impelled to put away the laundry.) So yes, I know many emails have yet to be answered. I will get to them as quickly as possible.

So I had to go to New York three times in three weeks--for an audition the week of the 13th, up to Buffalo for Thanksgiving and then back to the city on the 28th. It was all relatively uneventful--though I did get a parking ticket for $165 (!) for blocking a pedestrian ramp, which I could not see because it was covered with leaves and unpainted. Whatever, I'm made of money. (groan) My family is fine, as is Mark's (it was good to see the new baby--he's a sweetie). The auditions were blah, as I knew they would be. It felt very strange to be singing all those high notes when I had already pretty much determined that I was singing the wrong music. Yep, I am making the switch. And I'm doing a competition in January (the same one that pissed me off so much--check the archive!--but this time I know I'm not going to win, so whatever) as a mezzo, and will sing an audition in February as a mezzo. Plus there's a few more competitions I have my eye on. This new music feels SOOOO easy. I don't have to do any work at all. I've always had to work pretty hard at sustaining high phrases--but I never thought much about it. I just figured everybody worked that hard, or that my technique was still shaky, or that I was just lazy. How gratifying to know that there's nothing wrong with me!! And there are still high notes in my new music--they're just less frequent, and instead I spend lots of time at the bottom and below the staff. So the high C will still be needed once or twice (literally, in all the music for my voice type), but the middle C and the B-flat below it will come out to play like, all the time. And I've always been so comfortable with the lower third of my range. I used to think it was singing along with all those Doors and Zeppelin songs that developed my low notes, but apparently they were just always there. :) I also feel that a lot of the performance anxiety and muscular tension I get pre-performance will decrease--no super-hard phrases to obsess over. (Maybe this is wishful thinking--but maybe that's all I need!) Anyway, this is really good news. It means I have a lot of work in front of me--I have to learn about all of these roles and singers--but now it's the good kind of work. Plus, as I've mentioned, this is an incredibly rare voice type. I've only met three, maybe four dramatic mezzos in my life. But they're the voices you remember. (The big Mack truck ones.) In fact, here is an example of what I maybe ought to sound like.

But there is one catch in all this happy self-discovery. It means that I should most definitely NOT sing Madame Butterfly. I could get through it, sure, but it would do me more harm than good to me vocally (and emotionally!). And it's not particularly fair to the company, either, when they could certainly find a singer better vocally equipped. I did sign a contract--months ago--but these are certainly extenuating circumstances, and the company has six months to find another singer. I am having dinner with a good friend from the company tomorrow, and I will have to mention this (he's already partly aware of the voice type-switch situation). I'm not looking forward to it. Wish me luck.

But on a happier note, watch men knitting.

The guy from Orleans is the new congressman for our old 'hood! And not only is he moderately famous, he's a HIPPIE! Love it! I had no idea he'd been on The Colbert Report (I only usually watch it until "The Word", then go to bed)...I will have to catch the rerun this evening!

So we apparently live in an exciting new world where an amazingly liberal woman is two heartbeats away from the presidency. (Is it mean to think that she's actually only one heartbeat away?) I am cautiously optimistic about the current political situation...we've just been so downtrodden for the last six years, you know?

Oh, and mad props to Cathy's officemates for putting the final nail in Rumsfeld's coffin!

Big Newsflash: I might be a dramatic mezzo. It's all very preliminary, but if it sticks it means changing almost all of my operatic rep. It also means much less competition for roles--and more of them, possibly. And though the characters are usually not as glamorous (old ladies, mostly), there are a lot more opportunities for comedy--which I feel is one of my strengths onstage, versus the usual "my lover/my God has abandoned/ betrayed me" characters in my current voice type. I don't do sad very well--I do crazy and bossy and nosy neighbor and vendetta well. (Mezzo roles are sometimes referred to as "witches, bitches and britches"--the last meaning trouser roles, which I am probably unable to pull off convincingly. Maybe if I were six inches taller and flatchested!)

So in addition to doing these auditions this month (and I had a mini-breakthrough on Friday which I need to apply to my audition arias), I also have to learn a few dramatic mezzo arias so I can coach them in New York. Busy busy! It's a good thing I didn't get into Sarasota--then I'd have to learn a bunch of opera chorus music on top of all this.

Oh, did I mention I've been knitting Christmas presents since August? I've made twenty-one items (at last count) and still have a bunch to do. Funny, isn't knitting supposed to relieve stress? Instead I've become just as task-driven with knitting as I am with everything else. Plus there's this sweater I've been wanting to make for myself for some time, and I haven't been able to start it because I'm making things for other people. And also: my OWN scarf is looking incredibly ragged these days. Maybe I need to make myself a scarf!

It worked! And here he is. So cute! And I need the pattern for that hat...

In other news, we watched Akeelah and the Bee last night. It was REALLY good! You all must see it if you haven't already.

I don't know why I wait so long between posts sometimes. Then I feel like I have to explain myself and everything going on, etc. Tedium, I tell you...

So now I can finally say without reservation that the damned Cymbalta is out of my system. And surprisingly, I guess it did work, a little. All my senses are turned WAY up--especially my sense of smell. And I feel like an LP running on 45 again. (How long until that simile no longer means anything? Hell, I didn't even bring up the 78...) And unjustifiable rage has been a problem. My driving has even been affected, which is bad and scary. Arggh, maybe I actually DO need to be medicated. Either that or I'm turning into some hybrid between Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk, minus the super strength or sticky excretions. ("You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...") I have been dragging my feet about taking advantage of my company's employee assistance program, but I think I really need to do this. My quality of life is seriously affected.

But speaking of superheroes, I unfortunately have found a bunch of new TV shows that I really like--and guess what, they've all been picked up, so unless I change my mind I'm going to be chained to the television four nights a week until May... I like Heroes (though it's a little gory for my taste) and Jericho (how could I resist a prime-time drama about nuclear war, even though it stars Gerald McRaney and is on CBS, of all places?). And Ugly Betty is very funny--also, Mark and I agree that 30 Rock is way better than Studio 60. So between these shows and regular viewing of my previous favorites (Gilmore Girls, House, The Office and the Fox animated shows, minus the one with the gay alien), I feel like a total couch potato. But good news! All these new shows can be viewed online at their prospective networks. Hell, we wouldn't even have to own a TV to watch. In fact, I'd probably be better off watching on the internet--plus the commercials are shorter.

And speaking of watching video on the internet, this is absolutely fantastic. I wasn't too impressed with the guy's Steven Tyler (and we all know that I do a much better Aaron Neville impression), but his Dennis DeYoung and Jon Bon Jovi and Andrea Bocelli...well, just watch it.

Last thing: this is the hottest picture I've seen in a long time.



Find an explanation here. Thank you, AV Club!

Before I forget: my sister-in-law had her baby on Monday! For some reason Blogger's not letting me upload the picture. I'll try again later.

I am becoming increasingly eager to relocate. Everything screams, "Make a change!" An application I sent for an audition a few weeks ago was lost in the mail (and I had a very good shot at the part I wanted); other than railing against the stupid government (and getting annoyed at myself for not dropping the damn application off while I was in town), it made me once again apply "things happen for a reason" and say, well, maybe we won't be living around here when that show opens... And an outreach production I was ready to start rehearsing next week (for the same part in the same opera! too big a coincidence) has been postponed, so I really have nothing holding me here. All we need is for Mark to find a job in DC, and we are outty. We've already done research on renting a house in areas we might want to live, and it actually can be done fairly economically. (By Washington standards. If we wanted to spend $4500 a month on rent, we'd have our pick of places. Seriously.) I love my little boo, but he--like a lot of people--is resistant to change. I can be, too, at times, but when I've decided I want something I just do what it takes to make it happen. (Years ago Mark's sister told me that sometimes he needed to be nagged. So true!)

I've also done a little research on opera companies and coaches. As I may have mentioned previously, the Wagner Society there can provide scholarships for things like lessons, language classes and trips to Germany. I'm not sure if I'm ready to introduce myself to that group yet (I would like to sing for somebody with bona fide "Wagner ears" first before I potentially make a fool of myself), but it's definitely time for me to be heard by more people. This state has a scene, surely, but it's a pretty small state. I count seven professional opera companies in the state, and I've sung for representatives of all but two, I think (one by choice). There are roughly a DOZEN companies in the DC area alone. And there are lots more coaches, and let's not forget the all-important proximity to Manhattan--still a trek but not nearly the eleven-hour ordeal I'm used to now. So yeah, I'm raring to go.

On a lighter note, here's what you all are getting for Christmas:

I'm back! And I have a nasty cold. Ugh, sore throat. Maybe I'll get a quart of wonton soup for dinner tonight. Not that the salt will help, but the soup will make me feel better.

I still haven't caught up on my emails--and the clean laundry is piling up on the upstairs couch again, and we need to clean the whole house. This weekend, definitely! Mark's birthday is a week from today, and we're having a big party for him next Saturday, complete with a political theme (he's turning 35...I know, this is nerdy, but look who I married! ;D)

I'll write more when I'm feeling better, but in preview, here's a picture of the purse I bought in Chinatown:


By the way, that's a fake. So's the one I bought, but I knew mine was a fake. I should send a strongly worded email to the woman trying to sell this bag...

...But I would be remiss in not posting this, Keith Olberman's incredible words from September 11.



I couldn't have said it any better myself. Without swearing, that is.

I have a very busy few weeks ahead of me--and there are already half a dozen people I desperately owe emails to--so I probably won't update for about two weeks. Email me if you want!

Update: still feeling like utter ca-ca. Grrrrr....

I must begin by lamenting the death of dear, sweet Steve Irwin, my favorite herpetologist. And yours too, probably. How incredibly sad and random! I'm sure he is in heaven, baby croc on his shoulder and golden mullet intact.

In other TV-crush news, here's my new boyfriend:



I love me some Tukufu Zuberi. Totally cute, voiceover-worthy, and way cool! History Detectives is a badassssss show. (There is this one bimbo-y type girl on there that Mark and I don't like, but other than her...)

Granted, he does have to compete with my other crush...



Laugh all you want. The man was a hottie. And he's still funny, if his roast the other week is any indication.

And on the health front: after almost a week of feeling like utter shit--and I mean evil shit--I may finally be through the Cymbalta withdrawal. Ugh. Six-day migraine, seriously. But my head has ceased its spinning, for the most part, and I am ready to move on with my life.

CYMBALTA SUX!

Birthday shoutout to HELEN! Hope you have a great day, girl!

Sidebar: I can't believe I didn't mention this before. Our local newspaper beat The Hater to Book22.com by two months! We even talked about it at work. Very interesting stuff. I suppose they're just evangelicals--they're not dead!

I just made a recording to submit for a competition in October, and I think I got some good stuff. Woot woot! Now I can relax (read: make some yummy rye beer bread, get dinner started, keep working on Ellie's birthday present, drink leftover beer!).

Okay, so I am surrounded by babies and buns-in-the-oven. Two of my former castmates are expecting, and a good friend is undergoing artificial insemination treatments right now. Not to mention my sister-in-law who's due in October, plus the squishy blonde goodness that is little Suli... Back off, babies! I am not ready for you, nor are my malfunctioning ovaries. Jeez! They're like, everywhere. Mark and I have discussed, of course, and I believe this time next year we will begin negotiations (why that word came to mind I do not know). That is, unless I get to be an Adler Fellow, or something of the sort. (Babies can wait--San Francisco Opera cannot!)

Speaking of which, it's about time I start compiling the annual list of summer programs... I do so with not a little world-weariness, since I'm nearly aged out and they don't know what to do with my voice type anyway. But I will dutifully make a list, if only of the companies doing things for my fach. Money becomes an issue--the application fees average about $25 each, plus I have to take off from work. I will be very happy to be past the whole Young Artist stage of my career--and live in a place where there's more opportunity.

But on a silly--but still singing-related--note, THIS is how Phantom of the Opera oughta be.

Just a little fun...

I'm sure you're all aware of how tired I am of being sick, of feeling like I'm a victim of my body's capricious whims (is that redundant? probably). The week before our (quite lovely!) vacation, I got the fabulous news that I probably have endometriosis in addition to my other lady problems. Later that week my primary care doctor recommended I see a psychiatrist to get on the right meds, since the ones he's prescribed haven't worked for me.

You know what? I'm tired of taking pills, too. Whatever made me think taking medication for my anxiety was some sort of "easy way out"? My skin and my digestive system have been freaking out since we started this little experiment in March, I have trouble sleeping--and I won't even mention the little excessive perspiration problem. (Oops, I did.) So I am DONE with mood-altering medications. And I would never be on the Pill if I didn't need to be (Natural Family Planning being the cool-ass hippie chemical-free alternative--and the Pope likes it, too!). I do legitimately have blood sugar issues, so I still gotta take that one...but is Allegra doing SHIT for my allergies? So ixnay on that, too. I'll stick with the multivitamin, of course. And the Prilosec? I do actually need that, at least right now.

I'm staying away from caffeine, too--I don't like what it does to my mood, and I get a bad headache coming down from it. And if you add in my low-sugar intentions, it means the only drug I get regularly is Riesling. :) I'm backing way off on artificial sweeteners, too--again, I don't like the chemicals--and I see crystalline fructose packaged for diabetics, so maybe I'll try that...

So I guess I just have to get over it and get exercising. It should be easier in a few weeks, once it gets below 90 degrees on a regular basis. That, and I may as well use the counseling services provided by my employer to help with the anxiety. I'm also tired of trying to psychoanalyze myself. :)

But on a funnier note, this is pretty f-ing hilarious...

The August 2006 Music Post

Since I know how you all like my music posts (like that famous one on Extreme from the fall of 2002), I have a few music-related items I must relate:

1. Ani has a new album coming out! For some reason I never bought the last one (presumably because I was unemployed at the time). I will definitely get this one.

2. Last night I had a dream that I sang backup for Fleetwood Mac. Apparently Christine McVie's voice had deteriorated to the point where she could no longer sing the upper harmonies (it was on "The Chain", specifically), so I was somehow called upon to improv said harmonies. So cool, I got to jam with Fleetwood Mac!

3. Speaking of improvised harmonies (and of Extreme, coincidentally), will Helen and I get in any bar jamming during my visit? We could pull out some Mary's Danish and kick it old-school. Hell, we could teach it to Margaret and Ellie.

4. I am now officially totally over Matchbox 20 and/or Rob Thomas. Why I even thought that dork looked at all like the other, cowboy-costumed dork I stalked in college is beyond me. His voice is annoying and hell, the band is like, Bon Jovi if Bon Jovi immediately sold out and only had one good song. (And speaking of Bon Jovi, their new song is beyond lame, verdad?) The only Rob Thomas projects I will admit to actually enjoying are the duet with Carlos Santana (which duh, sounds like Santana) and the song "Disease". So there.

5. Also, Nickelback sucks. The Great Oz has spoken!

6. Artists I'm currently into: Dido, The Pretenders, Green Day, Joan Baez, Pete Seeger

7. Further signs of the apocalypse, i.e. artists I am finally able to admit that I like: Kelly Clarkson (yes, THAT Kelly Clarkson), Counting Crows, Gavin DeGraw